Unspoken Trials

On Sunday the topic was The atonement it set the tone for sacrament meeting.my lesson for my class was on Alma the younger and the atonement. Teaching the atonement to 5 and 6 year old kids is very rough. Especially when they keep asking when they can have treats or not, or when they could go outside. I began telling the wonderful story about Alma the younger. The kids were just not interested. I then began to tell the children my story of how I overcame temptations in my life just like Alma the younger. The best part of my story which I will tell in just a minute, is that these kids are so funny, when I had stated that I like Alma the younger had drank bad things one of the kids said, “You mean he drank Mountain Dew?!”

I simply replied that I had Drank Mountain Dew knowing that in the young eyes of a child that was bad.A good laugh from my class this week. There is never a dull moment with those children.

I would like to share my story about how I overcame another trial, that yes is unspoken. People don't talk about their trials. I know that I have had some bad ones and some that i can't do anything about, but what I have been through has helped my testimony I knowing things that I would never know with out those trials.

When I arrived at college, I had all intentions of doing good and getting good grades so I could go on to Utah State University in Logan and get my degree in Equine Science. I did great the first few months of the semester until, I realized Mom and Dad are not here to tell me to go to class, what's the point. I can go if I want to or not. It started slowly, by playing sports on the field instead of going to biology. Some of my friends were worried about me and tried to stop me. But me being the stubborn person I am I told them this is who I was and if they didn't like it to bad.  I started by not going to church. I was going to parties late Saturday night and didn't have time to wake up and go to church the next day. I thought no one cares whether I am at church or not so why go. Satan was taking a hold of me slowly. I felt like so many people expected me to be a certain way, and at that point I didn't want to be that way. I have always felt like i had to live up to what others think i should be. When honestly even though Yes I went through this trial but I am always forming me and what I should be. I wanted people to accept me for me and not someone else. I remember the day I drank for the first time. From there I progressed. It seemed like most of the time I had some sort of drink in me. My life was going down and before I realized it, It was almost too late. I remember one time I had drank so much it didn't even phase me, it really scared me and  I decided that this was not the life that I wanted. I woke up one morning with a feeling knowing this was not what I wanted and how do stop? I remember it was early in the morning, it was probably about 2 am. I looked at a picture of President Hinckley, President Faust, and  President  Monson a voice came to me saying ‘Remember Who you are. You are a Daughter of God.’ I began to cry knowing that i needed to change. I instantly fell to my knees and prayed all morning. Until i could hear birds singing. I knew i needed help but I didn't know how to get help. All of my friends who had been worried about me, I had blown off and worried  that they would not help me when I needed them. But that is one thing about good people, they are always around you and even though sometimes you hurt them they come back, and help you when you need them the most. I surrounded myself with my true friends, joining evening prayer with them, and family home evening again.  Second I knew I needed to call my dad, and mom. I remember how scared I was and resulted in calling my sister first, crying to her she comforted me as she always has. She reassured me that regardless of what I had done, Dad would love me no matter what, and he would help me. I called my Dad right after, I was so nervous. My dad answered in his gruff but comforting voice. The sound of his voice brought me to tears as I told my dad what I had done and asked for help. Surprisingly he said nothing. He never once said,”I'm very disappointed in you.” He simply said “We will work through this.” He advised me to talk to my bishop who, became like a father figure to me. My bishop helped me through my trials that I had faced at that time and made me realize that regardless of what our trial is we can some how overcome it through the atonement. It was a very long process and it still worries me to talk about it. I remember how much stronger my testimony is for going through this trial. I know some believe that it was bad and you should never talk about your trials again. I don't believe that. Yes some trials are bad, but it is who we are. My testimony of the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ is so much stronger because of my trials. Just like Alma the younger my dad was so pleased to know that I was coming back and asking for help. Deep down I know my parents knew I was struggling, and they prayed for me because that's all you can do. Parents of children who are struggling, keep praying for them. They may not come back for a long time but still love them regardless of their beliefs, trials, and hardships. Keep praying for them. I am thankful for this trial that I had. Some have asked that if I could do it over again would I change that part, honestly, no I wouldn't. It has made me a better person, I gained a testimony of the atonement in knowing that Jesus Christ atoned for all of my sins. Knowing that I can repent, for my wrong doings, and knowing that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have forgiven me, and they love me. I know that I needed to experience that, to know that without a doubt.

I am so grateful for my testimony of the atonement of Jesus Christ.

This trial has taught me many things. When I was coming back to the church, it taught me to not judge people, people didn't judge me, they were so happy that I was there. We are not sent to this earth to judge others, we are sent here to help others.

With that said I would like to Say thank you to my Savior Jesus Christ for making it possible for me to be forgiven for the things which I have done in the past. For My Heavenly Father for loving me with an unconditional love, knowing that the teachings the atonement and other teachings, needed to take time and patience, and for never giving up on me. He will never give up on us. To my Dad who has been so patient with me in my growing life through my trials, and pains. And now to my sweet husband who is so loving and caring, knowing that I am not perfect.

This is my testimony I leave with you all. I hope you will continually pray for those who struggle around you. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.